A book review of Be Brave. Lose the Beige! Finding Your Sass After Sixty by Liz Kitchens
Book reviewed by Barb G.
Stars: *****
She Writes Press (2023)
Self Help
240 pages
Disclosure: I received this book in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.
Summary: Meet Beige. Beige is reliable, practical, sensible, and safe. Beige doesn’t put up a fuss; it follows the rules, blends in, doesn’t want to stand out. Now meet Magenta. Magenta is rich, dynamic, loud, sometimes garish, and not easily overlooked.
Society has decidedly beige expectations when it comes to aging, and the intrinsic danger of beige and its many practical aspects is that it precludes creative thinking. Creative thinking is critical in avoiding a beige aging journey. Be Brave. Lose the Beige! Finding Your Sass after Sixty encourages women to trot out their inner magenta and defy those beige expectations.
Be Brave. Lose the Beige! started as a blog and morphed into a movement. This movement gently pokes fun at ageist rules and expectations. It says “yes” when the rest of the world keeps saying “no.” In these pages, Liz Kitchens chronicles how creative thinking helped her cope with empty nest syndrome, navigate sex over sixty, transition from being outtasight to literally being out-of-sight . . . and so much more.
The stories and creative techniques outlined in this book are guaranteed to introduce color, sass, and a lightness of spirit into your later years. Are you ready to start coloring outside the lines, even if a few pesky rules get trampled in the process?
Be Brave. Lose the Beige!
This book is about and for Baby Boomer Women. I have always wondered if I was a boomer or not. By most info I looked up I wasn’t quite a boomer. However, according to the author Liz Kitchens I am. I’m just on the younger side of the spectrum. Boomers were born between 1946 and 1964. Being born in 1960 I’m on the younger side of boomerhood. I will now declare myself a Baby Boomer.
Creativity
She speaks a lot about using creativity. When she said that “rearranging furniture is a creative act” I’m like oo, oo that’s me. My house doesn’t feel clean if I don’t rearrange my furniture. The unfortunate part of that is I often can’t find things because it’s not in the same place. ☹ She also says that creativity is a skill not a gift. I like thinking of it that way. She mentions doodling and I have always been a doodler. I don’t do that as much anymore but it’s a great way to kick start you creativity.
Tweeners
Liz calls us the “Tweener Generation” Most of the baby boomers are still parenting their adult children and caring for their aging parents. While I’m not caring for aging parents I do often feel like I’m parenting my adult children. Boomers are much more involved in our children’s lives than our parents were. I love the connection I have with my children. I want to be needed. Unfortunately, as Liz said in the book, it can be emotionally exhausting. I know it has been for me. She also talks about enabling and co-dependency, I didn’t know it at the time I was and probably still am co-dependent with my children.
Abolish Mother’s Day
Under the heading Abolish Mother’s Day, she also says, “As women, we are prone to feeling responsible for holidays and special occasions, even those supposedly devoted to us.” That brings my birthday to mind. In order to have my family with me this year for my birthday I cleaned and cooked for everyone. Other time I would also have to drive them. My birthday can be a costly venture.
Dealing With the Children
Something that stood out to me while reading her Key Lime Pie story is that I too often overrule my husband when it come to my children. He doesn’t want to always have to drive them here or there but I’ll do it even if I really don’t want to either. She points out that enabling your children drains you of your resources such as time and money. She wants us to ask ourselves, “For whom am I doing this? Am I doing my adult child any favors by enabling him/her? Am I exhausting my resources?” This certainly makes me think.
Exercises
Be Brave Lose The Beige! has some exercises throughout the book. The second one is Tell Your Story In Six Words, and an exercise to use your creativity. My six word story just came to me now as I write this review. Mom too young, need fun now. I think you will find this an interesting exercise.
Random Reflections
My husband retired this year so boy can I identify with the Retired Husband Syndrome. Apparently it really is a thing. Basically it comes down to Husbands can’t wait for it and Wives are not at all happy about it. Ditto for me.
The author talks about COVID inspired fashion. I know I ditched the bra and I have little intention to go back. Just when I think I should look presentable.
“America has done a poor job of getting its society ready to accommodate a lot of its people living a lot longer.” Things like containers you can’t open, and Instructions and menu’s you can’t read. She points out that the products that do cater to our generation “screams. Hey, look at me, I’m old!” This is the same for us in Canada as well. I work with children and when I say pencil crayons they don’t know what I’m talking about. Now they call them colored pencils. That author also used the word pencil crayons.
She mentions writing to help with anxiety. She quotes Joan Didion as saying “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” I also find writing helps me figure out what is bothering me. My writing often reveals things from my unconsciousness.
Great-Grand Parenting
In the section titled Great-Grand Parenting, I love the following quote. “The definition of being a grandmother is pure joy, unconditional love. Loving them for who they are not what we want them to be. Not loving them for what jobs they are going to have, just the mere joy of being in the same space with them.” I sure hope I’m around long enough to see great grand children. Also in this section she talks about indulging your grandchildren but avoid playing the victim card. After reading this section I realized how I guilt my daughter about Christmas. While I understand what the author is saying, I still find it very difficult to not have Christmas my way.
Final Thoughts
I enjoyed reading Be Brave. Lose The Beige! It was funny, interesting and though provoking. I hope I can take her advice. “We are entering the last third of our loves. If we aren’t brave and sassy now, when will we ever be?”
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