He Said, She S.A.I.D.

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A book review of He Said, She S.A.I.D. (Sexual Allegations in Divorce)… And Then He Went to Jail by Bruce W. McLaughlin

Stars: *****

Alpha Graphics Loudoun (2020)
Memoir
400 pages

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Summary: He Said, She S.A.I.D. It is a parent’s worst nightmare. The police bursting into your suburban home, accosting you in bed, arresting you, and hauling you off to jail. All while your 10-year-old son watches from the shadows in terror. Bruce McLaughlin lived through this nightmare in May of 1998. He was booked that night on charges of abusing his children—falsely accused by his wife amid an emotionally charged divorce that had already permanently shattered and scarred their family.

In this first-hand account of the months and years that followed that night, Bruce shares his confusion, fear, rage, and indignation as he was booked, tried, convicted, and jailed for an abhorrent crime he did not commit. Even as an attorney, Bruce found himself ill-prepared for the challenges he faced in proving his innocence, restoring his reputation, and rebuilding a life. Bruce McLaughlin’s story is a cautionary tale for any parent contemplating divorce. “More than 80% of abuse accusations leveled amid divorce proceedings,” he warns, “prove to be false.” Now an advocate for those falsely accused, Bruce’s experiences, insights, and advice are required reading for any parent contemplating divorce. “You have to go into the process prepared and with your eyes wide open. I did neither.”

This is the true story of a man who went through hell. His soon to be ex-wife falsely accused him of sexual abusing his children.

Truth Time. I was expecting the author to deny any wrong doing of any kind and put all the blame on his ex-wife. Usually in nasty divorces, each party blames the other for everything. I have to give props to the author though. Although he didn’t sexually abuse his children in any way, he does admit to smaller wrongdoings on his part that didn’t help the situation. Nothing he did single handedly caused the false allegations. However he doesn’t pretend like he was perfect either. I applaud Bruce for that.

The front of the book states: part memoir, part thriller, part horror story. While this is really full memoir, the author just wants us to know that the book is full of horror. It is. I was shocked so many times but what happened, I just couldn’t believe it sometimes! What this poor man and his kids went through is atrocious.

Even though Bruce went through a lot, including jail time, doubt by his family and distance from his children, he made something good come out of it. He is advocating for others who have dealt with sexual allegations in divorce. Apparently, although most kids who accuse someone of sexual abuse are telling the truth, there are cases in nasty divorces of false allegations. It’s hard to believe how this could happen. Reading this book will answer those questions.

The book is 400 pages with smallish font. I normally prefer books that are shorter and struggle with longer books. However the book was captivating and shocking. I couldn’t put it down and read it in 2 days.

If anyone is dealing with false sexual abuse allegations or knows someone who is, you must read this book. If you are getting ready for a divorce that you think might be nasty, read this book. If you don’t understand how a child could falsely accuse a parent of abuse, read this book.

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