What Kind of Parent Am I? Self Surveys That Reveal the Impact of Toxic Stress and More by Dr. Nicole Letourneau

Stars: ****

Dundurn Press (2018)
Parenting

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Summary: Research has shown that adaptive, supportive parents are the best at insulating their children from all but the biggest catastrophes.

Exposure to “toxic stress” in childhood can cause depression, alcoholism, obesity, violent behaviour, heart disease, and even cancer in adulthood. Parents who are less sensitive or attentive or who regularly misinterpret their children’s needs can let too much stress trickle through, or even cause it in the first place, which can carry on to the next generation.

What Kind of Parent Am I? uses specially created surveys to identify problem areas for parents. With recommended resources and advice throughout, Dr. Letourneau informs and empowers parents to deal directly with their unique risks and challenges, helping them become the best parents they can be.

What Kind of Parent Am I?

What parent doesn’t ask this question from time to time? Most parenting books give you advice for their type of parenting style but this book gives you quizzes to take to see what types of toxic st4ress you may be leaching into your parenting first. I know what you’re thinking. I thought the book was being rude at first. I was thinking, “oh great, so I take the quizzes and it confirms I’m the crappy parent I think I am, thanks a lot.” As a reviewer though I have to give a book the benefit of the doubt.

If you have a lot of stressful situations going on in your life you may be saddened by some of your test results BUT the book doesn’t just say “that’s not good for your child” and leave it at that. It delivers the results gently and most importantly, gives suggestions for where to turn to improve things.

The chapters (and topics) are Trauma History, Serve and Return Parenting (give and take), Socio-Economic Risk, Depression, Addictions, Abuse and Violence, Reflective Function (understanding feelings, thoughts and behaviours), Social Support and Co-Parenting and a summary chapter.

Each chapter is introduced, then a make believe family is introduced along with a scenario. Then the quiz follows and after that is a section to read depending on your score. Each answer section includes what your score means, what to do about it and an example with the make believe family of what they feel about their score.

If you have a lot of those topics going on in your life you might have a hard time taking the quizzes and reading your scores but the more of them you have, the more you need to read the book. I mean knowing things in your life are affecting your parenting is one thing but you need to find a way to eliminate or lessen the toxic stress so your children and you can have fulfilling lives.

I started off thinking the book was mean, calling out parents for their failings but I see now where this book would be of benefit to the average parent who might have some things going on and hasn’t realized how it is affecting their parenting. I think it’s important to know this before you read it or someone might just pass it by.

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