Kids are TURDS by Jenny Schoberl

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Kids are TURDS: Brutally Honest Humor for the Pooped-Out Parent by Jenny Schoberl (author of the Holdin’ Holden blog)

Kids are TURDS: Brutally Honest Humor for the Pooped-Out Parent by Jenny Schoberl (author of the Holdin’ Holden blog)Stars: ***1/2

Skyhorse Publishing (2016)

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This post contains affiliate links.

Summary:  When do you know for sure that you’ve become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn’t when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said “Mama.” It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn’t have to share.
Parenthood changes people’s lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won’t be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name.
Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Check. Grocery shopping alone? Sounds like a tropical vacation! Watching cartoons hours after the kids have gone to bed? Now your only hobby!

What do you do when motherhood turns you into someone you hardly recognize? When you open your mouth and, holy hell, your mother comes out?
Kids Are Turds proves that you don’t need to be Super-Mom to be a “good” mom (whatever that is), but you absolutely do need a sense of humor to get through the hard days. Either that, or you can give in, yank up your mom jeans, and rock a mile-long camel toe. So for the love of retinas everywhere, be strong!

Kids Are TURDS

This book is not for first time parents whose children are younger than 2. That’s just my opinion. It’s also not for those who don’t like crass humour and/or searing. I’m actually one of those people which is why the book is not rated higher. I like to laugh about parenting too but I can do without all the constant crass and un feminine words and the constant poop talk.

However if that’s more your style, I’m sure you’ll find the book extremely hilarious. The stories are funny and relatable (since I have 4 kids at home.)

Here are some story titles:

  • MINE is a 4-letter word
  • How My Vagina Birthed a Nudist Colony
  • I Hope You Step on a Lego
  • One Bin of Baby Sh&t Away From an Episode of Hoarders
  • Oh My God, I AM My Parents!
  • Unless You Are Dying, Do NOT Bleed on My Carpet
  • The Poo Whisperer

If you have multiple kids you can probably relate with some of those. Unfortunately those are the nicer titles. The book is a bit too crass for me.

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About Kathleen

I've been a nonfiction lover for as long as I can remember. I love children's nonfiction as well and love to share my knowledge and the books I gained them from, with the world. I wish more people would give nonfiction a chance.