Author Guest Post: Leadership at Work: Communicate and Connect the Dots

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There are ways of expressing ourselves to get points across and there are ways to create lots of noise and buzz. Right now, in our stimulus addicted society buzz seems to win.
Think Charlie Sheen!

Hey women, listen up! We know how to talk together and resolve issues. We are not prone to punch each other out to see who is stronger which so often is equated to better.
We are not the ones to rush to judge, attack and condemn.

We can’t let the patterns of avoidance and denial lead the way. We are the ones to lead the way. Yes we are really good question askers/good listeners and that is at the heart of healthy communication. There is no need to posture and polarize.

Now, most politicians, male and female, think the only way they can win is to make the other/s wrong, to paint with a broad brush so that you will agree that their ideas are the right ones. This is not dialogue, this is debate and it has its place; for a brief time. Yes, in debate there are winners and losers; that is part of how life as we know it works.

Yet, for more meaningful discussions we need to poke and probe the essence of what is going on; to understand the history and systems at play. Women, we know how to do this! We just need to stay steady and not give our power away to those who want quick, simple and yet, not long term fulfilling solutions. At the end of “Don’t Bring It to Work” is a story of a business team that decided to tackle what was really in the way of their success. Each had a story that led them upstream to where the real issues lay.

Here is a classic story that is so much a woman’s story, about going upstream to find the source. Think about beginning and endings. They start long before a specific moment and end long after the curtain closes on a meeting in the present.

They stood on the banks of the river and watched the dying fish flow by. Everyone got busy and spent their time scooping and sorting the fish.

Week’s later two young women said they would no longer participate. This was a fruitless exercise leaving everyone tired and depressed with no long term action plan. Scoop and sort had run its course.

Upstream was to a factory that was humming along with lots of activity. They went to the front desk and were told it was a place that manufactured furniture. They were assured that putting tables and chairs together could in no way harm the fish.

They continued walking upstream. Miles away, past the factory the fish were healthy and thriving. They went back to the factory (anyone remember Erin Brockovich) And  yes, the furniture factory was using chemicals to glue their products and the residuals were being drained into the river.

By focusing upstream, by asking the questions, by taking action we can make positive change happen. No longer is it possible to leave the hard work to others. We have the ability to move beyond the obvious and get the heart of the matter; it’s always upstream!

Written by: Sylvia Lafair, Ph.D., author of the award winning book, “Don’t Bring It to Work”, “Working Together” and “Pattern Aware Success Guide”e- book, is President of CEO, Creative Energy Options, Inc., a  global consulting company focused on optimizing workplace relationships through extratordinary leadership. Dr. Lafair’s unique model has revolutionized the way teams cooperate, relate and innovate.
She can be reached at or 570-636-3858;

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About Kathleen

I've been a nonfiction lover for as long as I can remember. I love children's nonfiction as well and love to share my knowledge and the books I gained them from, with the world. I wish more people would give nonfiction a chance.